One Summer Night Page 12

  ‘Rachel, honey, I love you!’ she whispered, and Rachel’s trembling carried over to her.

  They had to be a strange picture, the two of them sitting there in each other’s arms, weeping. The waitress behind the counter raised her head for a split second, but then immersed herself once again in the magazine lying in front of her.

  Lauren sniffled. After a while, Rachel had regained her composure. She inched away from Lauren and reached for her cup, fingers trembling, even though the coffee in it must have turned cold by now.

  ‘I am very, very happy for you, Lauren. Mason and I have decided to stop trying, so at least this way I still get to hold a baby in my arms.’

  Lauren swallowed hard. The lump in her throat was painful, and she didn’t know if she’d be as strong as Rachel under the same circumstances.

  ‘You’re giving up?’

  Rachel smiled a lopsided smile. ‘Define give up. We . . . we stopped fixating on it. It was killing us.’

  ‘I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?’

  Rachel laughed. ‘No. I’m fine.’ She kneaded her hands. ‘As a matter of fact, I feel a lot better now that we have buried the idea of having a child. We’re going to go on a long trip. Mason’s already looking for someone to stand in for him at the clinic.’

  ‘That’s a wonderful idea, Rachel! I was so afraid I was going to hurt you. Because you have to believe me, the last thing I want is to see you unhappy.’

  ‘I’m hoping New Zealand will be good for us.’

  Lauren raised her eyebrows in surprise. ‘New Zealand?’

  ‘Yeah. We need to leave our old life behind for a little while. We want to spend three months over there.’

  ‘But that’s amazing! Rachel, how wonderful! I still can’t believe it. When have you been planning all this?’

  Rachel winked at her, and it was almost as if she had become her old self again.

  ‘We didn’t plan it. We simply decided. Weren’t you the one who said that plans never work out? That’s a risk we definitely didn’t want to take.’

  * * *

  Those weren’t exactly the best memories they shared. In each of their lives there had been the occasional crisis, but none had ever threatened their friendship. Whenever a problem stood between them, they would always find a way to make up when they spent time together at the lake house. Lauren wasn’t the only one who felt the magic of this place, and she could think of no better location to gather around the fire today. This place held so many shared memories for them.

  ‘I was so unfair to you at times, Lauren. I . . . I was stuck in my own sorrow . . .’ Rachel said by way of an apology and reached for Lauren’s hands. Her dark eyes were pleading.

  Lauren smiled serenely. Didn’t Rachel know that all was forgiven? Tonight, everything that had ever happened had lost its power. Only love, friendship, and this connection that they felt for one another were important now. That’s what mattered. That’s what had always mattered.

  A shooting star burned out in the sky above the lake, and for a split second Lauren felt compelled to make a wish. Only she knew that it would not come true. And so she watched the celestial body die, feeling joy that her own light was still burning. Which was not something that she took for granted.

  ‘You were not being unfair, Rachel. Don’t ever think that. I have always understood and wished that things were different for you guys, baby-wise. And many times I was jealous of the freedom you had. Your trips; your adventures. It was as if I . . . had a premonition that I would not have time to do all those things.’

  Lauren swallowed. The memory of another day here at the lake started to come to her. That fateful day a year ago.

  The Day of the Picnic

  The grass tickled Lauren’s bare feet, and she pulled them back onto the picnic blanket and wiggled her toes. She admired the turquoise nail polish, choosing to overlook the splatter of polish that was like a blemish on her little toe. Considering that she had applied the polish this morning, in between making picnic sandwiches for everyone and handling a crisis with Mia, it had turned out surprisingly well. She had even picked a sundress in pale blues and greens to go with her brand-new nail polish. It was her favorite dress, because she only ever wore it on wonderfully warm days. Such as today. The BBQ aroma of the steaks grilling floated over the beach, and Lauren’s mouth started watering. She picked a daisy and chewed away at the soft, bitter stem. She closed her eyes as the clouds drifting by above made her feel dizzy. She could hear Tim and Alyssa laughing. And even though she had her eyes closed, she could almost see Tim lifting the three-year-old up in her canary-yellow bathing suit and throwing her into the water, again and again. Alyssa loved the water, and even when her lips were blue from the cold, she was not ready to take a break.

  One more minute, but then she really must get out of the water if she didn’t want her to catch a cold, Lauren thought.

  ‘Sausages are ready!’ Chris called, giving her the reason she needed to end Alyssa’s splashy fun. Sluggishly, Lauren opened her eyes and sat up. The sun was blinding, and she pulled the sunglasses from her curls, briefly cleaned the lenses on her dress, and put the glasses on. Through blue-tinted lenses she watched the boisterous group. Rachel was setting paper plates down on the big picnic table, which Tim had built two years ago for just such an occasion. He had faced this construction challenge along with Mason and Joey, and they had actually done a pretty good job – considering that it was their first. So much so that Rachel had immediately ordered a bistro table from the talented trio and was still waiting for it to this day.

  Mason brought a platter of steaks and sausages over to the table, tenderly slapping Rachel’s behind as he passed. She turned to him, and Lauren could now clearly see her friend’s baby belly.

  She smiled, as always when she thought about the miracle of Rachel’s pregnancy. Everyone had come to accept that she and Mason would remain childless – and they were all so happy when the good news was announced.

  A smile still dancing around her lips, Lauren got up, smoothed down her sundress, and bent down to the beach towels. Barefoot, she walked over the sand on the shore toward Tim and Alyssa, who were exiting the water, bodies shivering and teeth chattering. Lauren spread out the big pink beach towel, and Tim lifted their soaking wet daughter up and straight into her arms. Quickly, she swaddled her daughter’s squirming body in the towel. Tim breathed a grateful kiss against her cheek, and threw the second towel over his shoulder. Water was seeping from his swim trunks with every step that he took as he walked over to the BBQ to give Chris a hand.

  ‘Hey, little baby. Are you going to make like a duck and grow webbing between your little toes?’ Lauren asked, kissing Alyssa’s cold, freckled cheek.

  ‘I want to swim some more!’ Alyssa objected but, just in case, examined her feet very carefully. She pushed a finger in between her toes and shook her head, her curls brushing against Lauren’s skin.

  ‘Stop fidgeting, baby girl,’ Lauren laughed, dabbing her cleavage dry with the towel. Alyssa was getting heavy on her arm, and she carried the little girl over to the table where she sat her down on her knees. ‘You can go back in later, but first we’re having a nice grilled sausage.’

  ‘I don’t want grilled sausage!’

  Chris came over, poking Alyssa in the side until she squirmed, giggling and screeching, in Lauren’s lap.

  ‘What’s that you say? No sausage?’ he said with a fake accent. ‘Don’t you like my BBQ sausages? I made them just for you, with magic spice and grilled over the magic flame!’

  ‘You’re lying!’ Alyssa called, gasping for air. Lauren was barely able to hold on to her.

  ‘Am not! Try it, and you’ll see!’

  He winked at Lauren and slipped a sausage onto Alyssa’s paper plate.

  ‘Is it true, Mommy?’ she asked, doubting herself now, but before Lauren was able to reply, Mia from the other end of the table chimed in.

  ‘Don’t believe his
promises! Maybe he dropped the sausage in the dirt – and that’s what he calls his magic spice!’

  ‘Mia!’ Tim scolded her and sat down next to his ill-tempered daughter.

  ‘I don’t want a dirty sausage!’ Alyssa wailed and pushed her plate away from her.

  Lauren glared angrily at Mia over the table, but the girl simply ignored her. Sure, it wasn’t easy to be almost twelve years old at the best of times, but right now Mia was terrorizing the entire family a little too often.

  ‘Your sister is in a bad mood again, that’s all,’ Lauren tried to appease Alyssa, hoping she would agree to eat something. It was Chris who managed to smooth things out.

  ‘Mia is only annoyed because she didn’t get one of the magic sausages.’

  He pulled another paper plate from behind his back and held it up to Mia.

  ‘Look, I made one especially for her.’ He gave her a wink, and tousled her diligently straightened hair.

  ‘Hey! Stop it!’ she screeched, frantically smoothing down her hair again. Her attraction to Chris had significantly cooled ever since he had a stable girlfriend.

  ‘Then eat something, or else I’ll turn your hair into dreadlocks!’

  With a barely suppressed grin, Mia bit into her sausage.

  When Alyssa saw that Mia was eating her sausage, she finally took a bite, too.

  Lauren leaned over to Rachel and whispered: ‘I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.’

  Mason grinned from ear to ear and put his hand on Rachel’s domed belly.

  ‘Don’t worry – our kids are going to turn out perfectly!’

  Lauren laughed out loud and kissed the top of Alyssa’s blonde head.

  ‘Well, you can kiss your plans goodbye, because we started out with the same silly idea!’

  Mia snorted and threw back her hair in a theatrical gesture, before getting up and walking away, making a point of ignoring the grown-ups around her. She curled up on the picnic blanket, and Lauren suspected that she would have her revenge by being called bores, sticklers and party poopers in her most recent social-media updates.

  Since Tim was now without a neighbor at the table, he came over to join Lauren and Alyssa. They raised their glasses and toasted the wonderful day. The dark-red wine balanced out the flavor of the steaks perfectly and rounded off the vinegar in the salad dressing. Lauren had been feeling unwell all day, but now she was ravenous and piled a good amount of food onto her plate. The tender meat melted in her mouth.

  The bell peppers and tomatoes in their salad came from Rachel’s garden, and were divine. Ever since she and Mason had learned that they were expecting, after almost ten years of trying in vain, Rachel had turned into a fanatical proponent of all things organic. She even wore her fingernails short because she was working in the garden so much. But Lauren knew Rachel only too well – this was just a phase and would be over as quickly as her vegan diet, living analogous to the moon calendar and rearranging their apartment according to feng shui. As soon as the baby arrived, there’d be so much more on her mind than how to get rid of greenfly with a brew concocted from organic nettle leaves.

  Still, Lauren couldn’t help but admire Rachel for not allowing life to beat her down. She had been reinventing herself, over and over, and faced every new challenge head on. She, on the other hand, had been stuck in the same place for years. Not that she minded. It was a good place to be stuck in.

  With her belly full and her body warm again, Alyssa ran back down to the shore, where she piled pebbles and mud into her red toy bucket. Her curls bounced up and down with every move, like little coil springs, and she was starting to get to that age where her puppy fat dissolved and she lost that childish clumsiness. Lauren watched her daughter with a little wistfulness in her eyes. Then she let her eyes wander over the high grass and over to the picnic blanket. Mia was still lying on her stomach, feet up in the air and eyes fixated on her smartphone’s screen. She was in the process of growing up. It seemed almost impossible that her baby girl was almost twelve years old, that she was becoming more and more independent. Or maybe it was some sort of temporary rebellion – at least, that’s what Lauren was hoping for.

  She took off her sunglasses and massaged the bridge of her nose. She had a headache, probably from taking in too much sun today. After all, she and Rachel had come to the lake early in the morning to get everything ready. But it was worth it. It had been a while since they’d all spent such a wonderful day together.

  Exhausted, Lauren leaned against Tim’s chest, pulling her sand-encrusted feet up onto the bench, and listened to everyone’s conversations. Tim’s heart was beating softly under her cheek, and she was glad to feel his hands on her hip. He caressed her as gently as the wind that brushed her bare calves.

  ‘Didn’t Ben want to come and join us?’ Chris asked and looked at his watch.

  ‘Mhm,’ Lauren agreed, feebly. ‘He did say he wanted to come. Maybe something came up.’ As the Phillies’ star pitcher, Ben was always busy.

  ‘Pity. Last time we saw him was New Year’s Eve,’ Rachel said.

  ‘Uncle Ben wrote to me on Facebook and said that he was coming!’ Mia interjected from her blanket. ‘He’ll be here!’

  Lauren smiled. After Chris, Ben seemed to be the person closest to Mia right now. Ben would tell Lauren things that Mia herself would never have told her directly. Such as about this boy Seth that she liked. Ben always had a knack for giving Mia good advice during such conversations, and Lauren was glad that he did. Her fights with Mia were getting out of hand and making her head spin.

  She sipped from her wine and squinted in agony. Pain was throbbing behind her half-closed eyelids and in her temples, and it made her restless. Finally, when she couldn’t stand it any longer, she got up.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Tim asked as she took a few half-hearted steps.

  ‘I . . .’ She massaged the bridge of her nose. ‘I’m not feeling too well. I’m going for a walk.’

  He got up, followed by the quizzical looks on their friends’ faces, and hurried after her.

  ‘Do you want me to come with you? Is there anything you need? Do you want me to take you home?’

  ‘Don’t be silly! I’ll be right back; I’m just going to get a headache tablet. You keep an eye on Alyssa and make sure she doesn’t go too far out into the water.’

  Lauren wandered over to her parents’ house and, in the shade of one of the giant maple trees, leaned against the exterior wall. She looked over to her friends partying by the lake house, which had been the setting of many an evening together. Today, as all those other times, they were planning to stay over. Ben was coming just to spend time with them, and he was the reason she wanted to stay no matter what, even if her head was about to explode.

  She closed her eyes and tried to relax. Maybe it would help. A few minutes passed, and the pain did in fact subside. She walked into the house and took a headache tablet from the bathroom cabinet. She cringed when she noticed her reflection in the mirror. Her face was pale, and beads of perspiration had formed on her forehead.

  She turned on the faucet and splashed water on her face. Then she toweled herself off and, with her fingers still wet, wiped a few stray curls from her forehead. She tried to work them into shape. There, that was better – though by no means perfect. Maybe she was coming down with the summer flu. With the tip of her finger she traced the dark shadows under her eyes, and then washed down the tablet with a little water.

  Tomorrow she’d go to the doctor’s. For weeks she’d been having these major, recurring headaches, but she hadn’t found the time to see someone about them.

  A little dazed, she stumbled outside, where she ran into Ben.

  ‘Hi!’ he called, hugging her fiercely. ‘Am I too late for the party? I had to wait forever for my luggage at the airport, and then all these people were asking me for autographs, you know how it is. Dad was about to leave without me.’ He gave her a peck on the cheek.

  Lauren clenched her teeth
in agony when he pulled her into his arms with such brotherly passion, but attempted a smile.

  ‘No, no, it’s all right – I hope they left you some food.’

  Lauren saw her dad carrying Ben’s travel duffel into the house.

  ‘How long are you staying?’ she asked, because the large duffel did not fit with Ben’s usual style when traveling light.

  A little awkwardly, Ben ran his hands through his short red hair.

  ‘Don’t know yet.’

  ‘What do you mean? It’s the middle of the season. When’s your next game?’

  He looked back over his shoulder, but Peter had already disappeared into the house. Then he leaned toward Lauren and whispered:

  ‘I hurt myself. I got into a bar fight after one of the games. It was a stupid thing to do – maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime, but . . . I’m in serious trouble by the looks of things. I don’t even know if I’m going to play this season at all.’

  ‘Oh no! But that’s terrible! What . . . ? Do you know what you’re going to do yet?’

  Ben laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

  ‘My plan is to have a nice big steak and then drink myself into a coma.’

  He put his arm around Lauren’s shoulders and walked with her down to the beach to join the others.

  ‘Sounds like a very mature solution to your problem,’ Lauren teased him. She tried to keep worries about Ben out of her already throbbing head.

  * * *

  Even though the bonfire was burning as bright as during the hours before, a sudden cold crept over them. They all remembered that night. A summer night, like this one. The last summer night they had partied together without a care in the world. The last summer night they had dreamed of a future together. When they were sitting together that night, laughing, partying, not one of them had even the slightest idea of what was about to happen next.

  Lauren shivered and snuggled up under the blanket with Mia and Alyssa. Her eyes followed Tim as he continued to tell the story.