One Summer Night Read online

  One Summer Night

  Emily Bold

  Contents

  Prologue

  Eight Months Before, on A Summer Night

  This One Moment

  Mountains of Files

  The Party

  The Night at the Lake House

  Golden Autumn

  In Maine, In Shock

  A Lonely Decision

  Out of New York

  Finding Each Other

  It Is Time

  Time Flies

  An Important Question

  Plans Don’t Always Work Out

  The Day of the Picnic

  The Doctor’s Appointment

  Forgetting

  At the Clinic

  The Diagnosis

  What Now?

  Waking Up

  Waiting

  All Meaning Lost

  Taking the Plunge

  No More Tears

  Mia’s Anger

  Insight

  The Rest of Her Life

  Positive Outlooks

  Every Day a Gift

  Italy

  A Bitter Awakening

  Fragrant Flowers

  In Sickness and in Health

  Italy in Your Living Room

  I Am Your Husband

  Lauren’s Decision

  New Beginnings

  So Much Trouble

  Memories

  Dark Clouds

  A New Day Is Dawning

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Copyright

  Prologue

  Alyssa’s Fifth Birthday

  It was the first warm day of the year. The patio doors stood wide open, and a mild spring breeze floated through the rooms in the house. The fragrance of the pink hyacinths growing in the flowerbeds outside mingled with the delicious smell of muffins – freshly baked for Alyssa’s friends. Blueberry, her favorite. Alyssa had personally assisted in mixing the batter and pouring it into thin paper cups. She had also taken advantage of her position by gobbling up more than half the berries before the batter was even finished.

  Happy and satisfied and with bright-blue stains on her T-shirt, the little girl was now playing outside in the yard. Tim could hear her laughing and chatting over the fence with Heather, their grandmotherly neighbor.

  He pulled himself up on tiptoes to reach the colorful party garlands that he was trying to hang from the light fixture above the big kitchen table, all the way to the lamp behind the living room couch. He could have done with a second pair of hands, as the string kept slipping from his fingers and the paper fairies were forever sinking down to the height of his belly button. If someone were to look in from the outside, they would have observed tiny glittering fairies dancing on the table.

  ‘This is ridiculous!’ he muttered as he finally tied the last knot.

  He eyed his work sceptically, but for now – with the emphasis being on ‘now’ – whimsical pink and purple paper fairies were artfully dancing above his head, just as they were supposed to do.

  He let his eyes wander over the lovingly set birthday table. The muffins with their shiny frosting were piled up on two large platters, one on each end of the table; each place setting with its own colorful plastic cup and drinking straw; each paper napkin patterned with bright, fun polka dots; and a fairy name tag decorated with rhinestones for each little guest. Fairies were all the rage at Alyssa’s preschool right now. Heart-shaped balloons were bobbing under the ceiling and gently swaying in the breeze.

  ‘Not bad, not bad at all,’ Tim praised himself and wiped a few stray crumbs off the table.

  Those crumbs, plus a muffin-shaped gap in one of the piles, were quite the evidence that some light-fingered Louie had already been at work. Tim shook his head in disapproval, although nobody could see him. Then he reached for his denim jacket hanging from the coat rack next to the front door, and called up the wide, spiralling staircase: ‘Mia, sweetie! Are you coming? We’re leaving.’

  ‘I’m in the yard,’ came the reply from the opposite direction, and Tim raised his eyebrows in surprise. It would appear that today’s spring-like temperatures had managed to lure even zombies from their crypts. Either that, or Alyssa’s birthday gift had made an impression on even her too-cool-for-words big sister.

  Tim smiled to himself. The gift had been Lauren’s idea. He probably never would have thought of such a wonderful present himself.

  He grabbed his keys from the apothecary chest in the hallway, which held hats, scarves, and assorted knick-knacks such as shoelaces and bicycle gloves, and strode through the living room in the direction of the back yard.

  When he reached the patio doors, he stopped. Instantly he could feel the pleasant warmth of the springtime sun on his face, and for a brief moment he closed his eyes to allow that feeling of ease and comfort to run through his body. Spring, at last! Breathing in the powerful scent of the flowers, he tried to focus all of his senses on this one moment. The rays of sun that unleashed a red-hot celebration of colors behind his closed lids; the gentle breeze that still carried within it the cold of the fading winter; and Alyssa’s cheerful laughter, which was interrupted by an occasional squeal whenever she needed to gasp for air.

  What a perfect moment this was. He found it hard to breathe and swallowed hard to get rid of the sudden lump in his throat. This could have been a perfect moment, if only . . .

  He opened his eyes again and tried to wrestle down the rising unease and reminded himself to enjoy the beauty of this moment and, as best as he could, celebrate Alyssa’s birthday.

  He made his way over to the small blonde curly-headed child, who was rolling on the lawn, giggling. The grass was getting a little high already, and he would need to get the mower from the shed at some point, Tim thought. But for today it would do fine.

  ‘Daddy, look!’ Alyssa called out full of joy, rolling over on the lawn, then patting the ground next to her with the flat of her hand and beaming when the new puppy threw itself on its back next to her. ‘He’s trying to copy me!’ she shouted and kept on rolling. ‘Isn’t he the greatest? I’ve only had him for a few hours, and already he has already learned so much!’

  Tenderly, Tim rubbed the panting dog behind its floppy ears, and it started licking his hand.

  ‘That’s probably because you’re an excellent teacher, Alyssa,’ he praised his daughter and lifted her up in his arms. He kissed the tip of her nose and, as always when he did that, her freckled face filled him with happiness. She was his sunshine. Kissed by the sunshine and gifted with freckles.

  ‘Don’t be silly! There’s probably a flea on his back that is making him roll over,’ Mia sneered from her perch up on the garden wall, without looking up from her dark-blue varnished fingernails.

  Tim sat Alyssa back down and walked over to his thirteen-year-old daughter. He let his eyes wander over his firstborn’s lanky shape, which seemed even frailer in her tatty black skinny jeans, biker boots, and black-dyed hair. He remembered only too well that only a few months ago she, too, had been a blonde-haired angel. But they didn’t need to fight about that right now. He briefly wondered if he should comment on the sweater she had chosen to wear today, but then decided against it. Her statement was loud and clear. Tenderly he reached for her hands and looked her square in the eye. She gave a shy smile, and he understood what she was trying to say – even if she held was keeping her dark-purple painted lips pressed tightly together.

  ‘Ready?’ he asked, and Mia nodded.

  Alyssa jumped up and put Rowdy, the puppy, on his brand-new – and what else – pink leash.

  ‘Ready!’ she called out and dashed out of the yard.

  ‘Mom’s going to be so happy when she sees Rowdy!’ Tim swallowed hard but forced himself to a s
mile when Mia reached for his hand.

  ‘Come on, Dad. Let’s go,’ she said encouragingly, and he put his arm around her narrow shoulders.

  He wanted to look ahead, but there was this image at the forefront of his mind. A fragment of a memory so vivid it was as if it had happened only yesterday. It was his memory of one summer night a long time ago. When he closed his eyes he could still hear every single word and taste every single tear from that night . . .

  Eight Months Before, on A Summer Night

  The bonfire in front of the house was blazing high into the night sky. It was late, yet still too early to end the evening. This was an evening that no one wanted to end . . . The children had pulled the last of the marshmallows from their sticks, and their mouths were glistening with gooey sugar. Happy and with a full belly, four-year-old Alyssa was snuggled into her mother’s arms, her tired eyes closed. Her blonde curls framed a tender face, and Lauren felt as if she had never before witnessed anything so peaceful. Even thirteen-year-old Mia was tired. Lauren knew only too well that she had not been able to catch much sleep these past few nights. And she wasn’t the only one. When Lauren glanced around, she looked into many tired faces. Familiar faces – beloved faces. Her family and best friends had gathered here tonight to be happy and together one last time. To celebrate life and the gift of time that they had been given. But they had also gathered to say goodbye. A goodbye that none of them wanted – but one that was, after all, of her own choosing. A goodbye that felt right and reassuring but that was painful nonetheless.

  ‘You have no idea how much it means to me to be spending this night here at the lake house with all of you. It’s my favorite place in the entire world – the place I have chosen, and it makes me happy to have all of you around me one last time. You are the lifeblood of this house – my lifeblood.’

  Lauren couldn’t help but smirk at her choice of words. Ordinarily, she wasn’t one for waxing poetic, but in this moment even the simplest of facts seemed to somehow exit her mouth wrapped in only weighty phrases.

  ‘Truth be told you are the best thing about me!’ she laughed and made a point of looking into every single face. They all returned her gaze, smiling – the way she had wanted. Somewhere between her best friend Rachel and her husband Tim she closed her eyes to fight down the tears she had expressively denied herself from having.

  No tears today, she had asked. And up until this moment they had all managed to allow only positive thoughts. But the longer the night went on, the clearer it became to Lauren that everything they wanted to say needed to be said right now. Tim must have noticed the change in her mood from her voice, because he got up from his spot by the fire and walked over to her. Sitting down behind her on the bench, he wrapped his arms around her and Alyssa.

  ‘I love you,’ he whispered – but this was no secret. Lauren leaned against him. What a lovely moment this was!

  ‘There are moments in life that change everything all at once. Moments that pull the ground from under you and destroy everything you hold important,’ she mused, and her eyes rested on the twitching flames of the bonfire. ‘But there are also moments that seem completely inconspicuous at first glance, and yet they turn out to be the most important moments of your life.’ She gave Tim a smile. ‘We had such moments, Tim and I. Good, bad – a little bit of everything. And even if I always thought we would treasure them for the little treasures that they are, they’re now slipping away.’

  She sounded defeated and grasped Tim’s hands, looking for comfort.

  ‘And yet . . . There is so much left that we cling to, because letting go would mean we have reached the end of the line. Do you remember how Tim and my story started? Fourteen years ago . . . ?’ she looked around, and pressed a gentle kiss on her husband’s chin. ‘Because that was that kind of moment.’

  This One Moment

  ‘I hate this weather!’ Lauren complained to herself. She kept the engine running for a little while even though she was already parked in the right spot, just so the heating system could keep pumping hot air into the inside of her car. The wipers squeaked over the steamed-up windscreen, but they were useless against the sheer amount of water pouring down. It was raining by the bucketful, and Lauren felt no desire to leave her car and run over to the diner in these conditions.

  She wondered if Rachel had already arrived and was waiting for her. Lauren pressed her lips together and cursed under her breath. The rain pelting down was drowning out even the radio, and the longer she waited the worse it got. The puddles on the gravelled parking lot got deeper and deeper, and slowly the humidity started creeping into her car.

  Finally, she shut off the engine and slipped the keys into her jacket pocket. She turned the rear-view mirror to her face and fished a lipstick from the glove compartment. Quickly she reapplied color to her lips and rubbed them together. The eyeliner above her green, slightly mascaraed eyes was still all right, and today she was actually more or less happy with the way she looked – except of course for her freckles, which refused to be tamed even with foundation and powder – but she had lost six pounds over the past several weeks. Besides, it wasn’t exactly as if she was going to meet the love of her life today! If such a thing even existed. Any steady relationships had, until now, only brushed past her, like vehicles that had lost control. Most guys were just too superficial, Lauren concluded, despite the fact that she was always worried about being a little too on the plump side herself. After several years of yo-yo-dieting she had managed to slim down enough – even if every little transgression would go right back on her hips. But now that she was sitting in her car, teeth chattering, she almost wished she had her six pounds back, for warmth.

  In two minds, she rapped her fingers against the steering wheel and eventually shrugged her shoulders.

  ‘Oh, screw it!’ She tied her strawberry-blonde curls into a loose knot, which she stuffed into the hood of her summer coat. Then she silently counted to three and yanked open the driver door.

  She bolted from the car and ran hell for leather across the parking lot in a low crouch and up the four slippery steps to the diner. With all her might she pushed open the door and took shelter inside, letting go of her coat which she had been holding closed with one hand.

  She was welcomed by warm air and the smell of fried eggs, bacon and coffee. Several heads turned in her direction after this sweeping stunt, curious, but by the time she had pulled the rain-soaked hood off her head and patted the water from her face, people had already lost interest. A little out of breath from her jog she gasped for air, got rid of her wet coat, and pulled her curls from the hair tie. In frustration she realized that the bottoms of her boot-cut corduroy pants were completely soaked from the water rising up from the ground, and were now tightly clinging to her boots. Great, just great!

  As inconspicuously as possible, she tried to at least fix the damage to her hair with her fingers, all the while scanning the booths with their shiny red tables for Rachel. At a table right behind the counter decorated with vintage tin advertising signs and lit by a red halogen fixture, she was able to make out her friend’s chocolate-colored bobbed hair. Rachel gave Lauren her widest smile and called out her usual ‘Hey, hey!’ over a song blaring from the speakers.

  Lauren waved but was stopped by a voluminous waitress with a fully loaded tray. On one hand the waitress was balancing the tray full of plates of scrambled eggs and pancakes, while with the other she was pouring coffee into a pretty blonde’s cup. Lauren’s mouth started watering when she saw the breakfast that the waitress put down in front of the blonde beauty. She was obviously not on a diet. And the guy who was sitting opposite her, holding her hand! Piercing blue eyes, designer stubble that looked soft and well-groomed, and dark-blond strands of hair falling into his face. Lauren’s heart skipped a beat when he turned his ice-blue eyes to her and smiled.

  The curvaceous waitress took a step aside to put more plates down on the table, and Lauren found a gap wide enough to squeeze past
the woman’s broad hips. It was about time, too. She had to force herself to pull her eyes away from Mr Perfect and put one foot down in front of the other; otherwise Miss Blondie might start wondering why she was staring at her boyfriend with her mouth open.

  She slipped past the waitress, leaving wet footprints all across the diner, and over to the table where Rachel was waiting.

  ‘What was that?’ Rachel asked in her velvety blues voice that was almost a little too deep for a woman.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Lauren threw her coat across the soft seat cushion and squeezed into the bench next to Rachel rather than taking a seat across from her. She strained her neck to keep an eye on the man of her dreams across the heads of all the other diners.

  ‘Uh . . . Lauren? What do you think you’re doing?’

  ‘Hm?’ Lauren asked, paying Rachel attention for the first time. ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I was asking why you’re straining your neck to look over there, with your eyes almost popping out of your head.’

  Sheepishly, Lauren reached for the menu, while grinning at her friend from across the top of it.

  ‘Do you see that guy?’ She tilted her head in the direction of the gorgeous couple.

  ‘Hm, sure? But I also see his date!’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, I know – I see her, too, but if it were up to me that guy right there would be my future husband!’

  Rachel laughed and pushed Lauren from her side of the bench, finally getting her to sit across from her.

  ‘Once you’re married you’re going to see each other plenty – so go take a seat over there so we can talk properly!’

  Lauren grunted and slipped into the opposite bench to keep Rachel happy. She tugged her white, oversized blouse into place and used a napkin to wipe an old mustard stain from the table.

  ‘If you continue like this I won’t let you be my maid of honor!’

  ‘Well, if you continue like this, the sexy blonde is going to have your head on a platter and eat you for breakfast.’ Rachel warned her with a laugh, running her hands through her hair in an elegant gesture. This was something Lauren had always admired about her. Whatever Rachel did she always looked so sophisticated and graceful. Was it because of her long, slender fingers with the subtle nail polish, or because of her chin-length bob hairstyle that was reminiscent of Jackie Kennedy? Or was it maybe because of Rachel’s slightly raspy voice that lent each of her words a certain gravitas even when she was cracking a joke? Lauren, by contrast, would never come across as cool and lofty. Not even when she did something a little more Earth-shattering than wiping away a mustard stain. Her long, copper-colored locks were softly flowing at best and unruly at worst. But when it was thrashing it down outside like today, her hair was beyond salvaging. Today she was no match for the skinny blonde with her luscious lips. Which was a shame she thought, sneaking another glance at the man of her dreams.